Freedom in Forgiveness
Forgiveness surprisingly is like a law of science such as, the law gravity, the law of thermodynamics, or the laws of attraction. God wants us to forgive others but He won’t make us do it. I have heard people say, “he did such and such to me twenty years ago, I’ll never forgive him”. That my brothers and sisters is almost a death sentence for that man. He thinks it is hurting the other man but he himself is the only one hurting. I have seen cases where people were afflicted with crippling arthritis and when I asked a loved one if they had unforgiveness in their lives the answer was a resounding “Yes!” I have seen this numerous times.
Unforgiveness is the single most popular poison that the enemy uses against God's people, and it is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually. It causes everything from mental depression, to health problems. If you have pent up resentment toward another human being it will eat you alive. Even doctors will attest to this. I have met people who held resentment against someone who was already dead, how strange is that? Unforiveness is a heart problem, therefore it doesn’t matter if the person exists or not for your heart is corrupt. In reality, you have no choice other than to forgive unless you suffer from some sort of masochism. The one who forgives is the free one and the other person is still in bondage for what they did to you.
I remember when I had some evil thoughts about a man that was telling lies about me. I could have held on to the anger and resentment and it would have had a toll on my life while the other man didn’t think a thing about it. The Lord taught me about forgiveness and more importantly unforgiveness. I saw him in a restaurant one day, so I left my table and went to him and said, “Lee, I want to ask your forgiveness for the thoughts I have had against you”. (I want to interrupt the thought for a moment and interject something. HE had done me wrong, shouldn’t HE be asking for MY forgiveness? Yes, he surely should, however, I also had thoughts about him and even though they were unspoken they were just as damaging.
Now back to my story. . .) I was expecting a response from him such as, “Well, Larry, I want to ask your forgiveness for what I have said about you”. Folks, that just didn’t happen. He said, “Well that’s all right my boy, we all make mistakes!” I want you to know that for a split second it was as if you had hit me in the stomach but that was as long as it lasted. When I turned to walk back to my table I literally felt as if a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. I returned to the table and told my wife that I was FREE but Lee was still under bondage. Forgiveness is not something we do for other people, its something we do for ourselves so we can heal and move on.
You may think that you are owed something for the mistreatment but remember, be the bigger person and let it go. “But do I have to go to the person who hurt me and ask their forgiveness?” Only if you held sin in your own heart. Look, you may think it is a big deal but it is nothing.
I read a short but poignant story that I would like to share with you stressing this very point. The story goes like this... One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.
His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had, that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment, and frustration.
Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:
"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot, I don't know how. It is not fair Lord, I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray you teach me to do the one thing I cannot do: Teach me to forgive ."
As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them.
He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.
"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked? The man answered - "Yes, Lord." "Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?" The man answered - "Yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more. "Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked? And the man answered, "Yes, Lord." "Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?" The man, crying now, answered - "Yes, Lord." As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "Yes, Lord".
Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before. Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you." It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.
Besides, God knows your heart and He is the one who said He would forgive you to the same extent and measure that you forgive others! Whoa! That means that some people have not been forgiven their sins for years even though they have asked God over and over. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. If you are harboring unforgiveness now I want you to read on and see what God, the ultimate Judge, has to say about it and then we will have a little “fill in the blanks” session.
This is what God says about you and your unforgiveness.
In the Bible the “Lord’s prayer” as we call it should be renamed to “the model prayer” for the Lord’s prayer is found in John 17. The model prayer is found in: Mat 6:9-13 “After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.” A debt is an unpaid commitment. If you have resentment against someone it is an unpaid debt.
The Lord continues the same discourse:
Mat 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.” The same prayer is stated by Luke in chapter 11 verses 2-4. This is recorded in three of the four gospels and spoken by Jesus himself.
Mar 11:25-26 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
How often should we forgive someone for the same thing?
Mat 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
The following is a good example of how God forgives us seventy times seven: If a person should come to you and say, “I have been talking bad to others about you and I ask your forgiveness”. You reply, “OK I forgive you”. An hour later the same person returns and says, “I have been talking bad about you again, will you forgive me?” Reluctantly you say, “OK...I forgive you”. An hour later the same person returns again and says, “I’ve done it again, will you forgive me?” About this time things start to really heat up.
Now, here is the scenario when you go to the Lord and ask His forgiveness and He says that you are forgiven, and an hour later you go back to Him and ask forgiveness again for the same thing and He forgives you. You then go back to the Lord and say, “Lord I’ve done it again” and the Lord says, “done what?” In other words forgiveness is not judged by the quantity of times you offer it but only by the quality you offer it. If the Lord can forgive and forget can we not do less with His help?
The Kingdom of Heaven is Like...
The following verses tell the parable of the steward who owed his master money.
Mat 18:23 “Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
Mat 18:24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
Mat 18:25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
Mat 18:26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshiped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
Mat 18:27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
Mat 18:28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, which owed him a hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
Mat 18:29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
Mat 18:30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
Mat 18:31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
Mat 18:32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, Oh thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
Mat 18:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?
Mat 18:34 And his lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
Mat 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do likewise unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother his trespasses.
How much do we owe the Lord? If the Lord can forgive and forget can we not do less with His help? You would think that the above would be sufficient yet the Lord continues again...
Luke 17:3-4 KJV “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
When the Lord says, “Take heed” He means you had better take notice. You may say, “He is supposed to come and ask my forgiveness first.” Did Jesus ask forgiveness of the people crucifying Him? He simply said “Father, forgive them they don’t know what they are doing” Luke 23:34.
The world wants an eye for an eye
Mat 5:38 “Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: (Exo. 21:24)
Mat 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Review
Mat 18:32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, Oh thou __________ _______, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
Mat 18:33 Shouldest not thou also have had ____________ thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?
Mat 18:34 And his lord was _________, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
Mat. 18:35 So ___________ shall my heavenly Father_____ ________ ________ _______, if ye from your hearts ___________ _______ every one his brother their trespasses.
Luke covers the same subject in chapter 17 verses 3-4:
Luke 17:3-4 KJV “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother __________ against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, _____________ him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; _______ ________ __________ ______.
“V” is for vendetta!
Mat 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: (Exo. 21:24)
Mat 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye _________ ______ ________: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Mat 5:40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, _____ _____ _______ thy cloak also.
Mat 5:41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
Mat 5:42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Mat 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. (Lev. 19:18 The first part was said by the Lord the second part was said by the Pharisees)
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, ______ your enemies, _________ them that curse you, do _______ to them that hate you, and _______ for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
WHY?
Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Do we want our prayers answered?
Of course we do but even prayer has conditions just as everything else in the Word of God.
Mar 11:25 And when ye stand praying, _________, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may _________ ___________ your trespasses.
Mar 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, _________ will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Luke 6:37 _________ not, and ye shall not be ________: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: __________, and ye shall be _________:
Unforgiveness is a sin, BUT:
1 John 1:9 KJV If we _________ our sins, he is faithful and just to ________ us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Unforgiveness has the negative power to fuel resentment and bitterness, two forms of spiritual cancer. “... Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” Heb. 12:15
“I forgave you, now you forgive others!”
Take a few moments and ask God if there is any unforgiveness in your life. If there is, repent and forgive, then ask God for His forgiveness. In doing this you will find a new found freedom!